Wednesday, September 27, 2006


And blank mind. It has come to me that to be in a good frame of mind one needs to be able to look forward to something in life. I don’t mean in life after, which is a given, but in this life hopefully ongoing. That idea, however, seems to leave me with a profound sense of “dependency” on what might develop from the world around. A trip somewhere, perhaps a future event such as carnival, birthday, holiday-- an invitation of some sort. The thought, if true, leaves me with a frank distaste for the human condition.

“I dreamed I saw a coach and four, that stood beside my bed.
I looked again and saw it was a bear without a head!Poor thing I said, poor silly thing, its waiting to be fed,

A headless bear waiting to be fed mirrors the blank mind hopelessly awaiting something agreeable to look forward to. And all the while the hunger for that something comes from deep inside. For one thing, any future events, to be motivational or attractive¸ needs to strike some inner chord of recognition or interest, some correspondence to the time and place of our historical state. The blind acceptance of an uninteresting project, like the infamous blind date, is unlikely to meet any unfulfilled dreams. This being the case it would follow that such hopes and wishes must originally materialize from inside ones self; the pointless meandering of a blank mind is anathema to my forward-looking efforts to improve a leaden will.

But even now the light begins to dawn! Once I started to write there arose a distinct hankering for some way to end the thing. To write is to hope, to look forward to words that may yet come, and to know if others understand. They who seek find a way, as Isaiah 30;21 says, “And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left”. So that hope, that is faith, may always expect the inner spirit to guide the way, and find what is needed. As for that life after, “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.
But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit; for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God. I Corinthians 2:9, 10

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